


Even when you lie

by GothieCakes



Category: Death Stranding (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Complicated Relationships, Denial of Feelings, Higgs being cocky as always, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Overdue Talks, POV Third Person, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, Regret, Spoilers, Trust Issues, mention of other characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:14:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GothieCakes/pseuds/GothieCakes
Summary: What a mess they'd made of everything.
Relationships: Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Comments: 13
Kudos: 184





	Even when you lie

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic is brought upon my desire to feed everyone who's hungry for this ship more. When I started upon this tag and saw that there was but one mere fic in it, I was devastated. So, with the powers of spite and ruining my sleep schedule while listening to the wonderful soundtrack, I bring you my most cherished work that-- yes, I will make more of if enough people actually like it.... 
> 
> WELL, okay, anyways, please enjoy, I just wanna make all of yall happy and serious shoutout to EVERY ARTIST WHO IS DRAWING SAMHIGGS you have no idea I wasn't even going to post this because I was so nervous and scared I'm a fool.... aaaaaa anyway.... please enjoy I hope you guys enjoy and feel free to leave a kudos and comment so we can all make a neverending circle of inspiration for this ship. 
> 
> Feel free to follow me on my twitter !! I'm yelling about Death Stranding right now if you wanna be a part of that ! https://twitter.com/nnoites
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY !
> 
> \- Gothie

The timefall started before Higgs could get even close to the old bunker to pass the night. The same bunker he'd grown up in, thought the world only existed inside the metal walls. 

He could feel the scars on his back ache as he simply thought of it. The hands at his neck and the begging pleas to stop. 

Higgs shook off his coat walking into the sheltered overhang and letting out a sigh. He was always able to jump wherever he wanted, but after his powers were revoked, well, unwillingly… 

Higgs found himself back at the stage of, "boring party tricks." in terms of powers. 

So, in the rain, he walked over a thousand meters to his safehouse. Activating the terminal and getting nothing of a greeting, the cold walls were never much company. Upon the door swinging open he could only hear the echo of his boots from the ceiling to the floor, maybe the memories were welcoming him with each hollow step until his feet hit concrete and the only visible light was smothered out with a loud bang. 

Taking off his mask and pushing down his hood he slowly pulled off the black overhead cowl. All things thrown aside, he took a moment to let his eyes adjust before walking into his room and--

Before his hand could activate the light switch he found himself pushed against the lockers in front of his small cot, a hand at the back of his neck and a gasp of an inhale as the cold digits grabbed harder at the back of his hair, another one on the side of his face. 

There was a breath exchanged between them both. Higgs knew what this was. 

"Sam--"

"Shut up." 

There was a press against his lips, a gasp and harder press into the back of his neck had him uncomfortably leaning into Sam's hand, mouth awkwardly moving against the other's. Higgs knew even with his “parlor trick powers” he'd be able to move out of the way of Sam's grip, but, he didn’t. 

Higgs couldn't tell how long he'd let himself indulge in the other. The darkness had helped him feel, perhaps, less guilty for having Sam in this situation, although… 

As the other finally eased his grip on the back of his head and made a noise Higgs could only describe as disgust, Higgs let out a held in laugh.

"Why are you here?" Simple question, although, Sam still had him firmly in one hand, Higgs would let him. Thinking back, it had been a while since Sam had shown himself down here, Higgs was sure he didn't want to see him again… Especially admitting what ate at him, the urge to have some sort of contact with the man who once thought himself as a god. 

Higgs felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him, yet he still adorned the mask, covering his face with a new golden skull. Fragile had taken it from his bloodied hands on the beach, yet, somehow he'd come back. Still here.

Still resenting his choices.

"I didn't want to be." Sam's answer seemed about right, Higgs hummed in approval, "Got caught up in the timefall." Sam sighed and Higgs felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up from how close the proximity of the other was, "you were the closest place… have expensive cargo on me." 

As much as Higgs wanted to joke on how he was in fact now the special delivery of sorts-- quickly squashing the idea in his mind, he nodded in response and moved one of his hands to tug the elastic from Sam's hair. 

One quick motion as he tossed it aside.

And as he did it he inhaled the other's scent in a moment, trust was for those who were too forgiving, naive… 

"Says the liar who only came here to pin me against a wall. Oh, Sam, I should be  _ flattered-- _ " A sharp tug against the back of his head made him wince and look at the others face, sure he'd gotten cocky but, if it simply was like the other times, why the hold-up? "You can leave at any point, but, you're an inch away from my lips, so if there's another reason… I'd love to hear it." 

There wasn't an immediate response, Higgs at that point felt the need to push back, bite at any part of the other, tangle his hands in his hair, touch starved in a world comprised of himself. Higgs didn't doubt that sometimes maybe, through everything, Sam might have felt the same. 

With no more intent to lie, Higgs figured the other easing off of him really did mean he would be taking his leave, the breath against his lips subsiding for the moments between his question and the answer, 

"Forgot you can still do that." The answer wasn't what he was looking for, providing clarity at all? Not even close, he clicked his tongue before he felt the other come close again and press himself against him, arm finding itself around his waist, breathing slowly against the crook of his neck. "Can you tell what I'm thinking now?" 

If question marks would be an appropriate answer, that's the one he would have said aloud, though, brushing his nose against the other’s hair, inhaling deep and exhaling, feeling Sam almost startle with the brief contact. 

He concentrated on his thoughts, shutting his eyes even in the dark.

Higgs could pick up many things, loneliness, uncertainty, questioning… "You're definitely lonely, Sam." A nervous chuckle escaped him as he tilted his head off of him, back against the lockers, eyes fluttering open, "but, as for everything else, I can't pin down what's eating you up."

Staring at the darkness of the ceiling, the various candid shots of the man currently buried against him, Higgs didn't expect anything else from him, only silence. 

Higgs, though, was usually wrong most of the time.

"I dropped off Lou with Deadman… wanted time for myself. Just felt shitter about it afterward though… Figured the only thing worse than myself is you." Sam moved away from the other and sat on the cot as he spoke, Higgs only rolling his shoulders back as he stripped off his jacket, "found myself here not too long after." 

Higgs was over trying to decipher any code Sam would throw at him, thankfully this one was easier to understand, 

"Wanted a getaway, realized you've pushed almost everyone from your life, so you're here." Higgs laughed as he toed off his boots, "--again." He added, looking back towards the cot. 

Higgs could only shake his head as he walked over and sat down beside him, expecting Sam to shift away… not hearing the usual sounds of him doing so made him look over with a sigh, "So I guess I'm right then." No question to it, Higgs just ghosted a laugh. 

"Look, fuck if I know why… I just came here, figured you'd keep pushing after I kissed you. Can't lie either… wasn't sure what I was thinking." 

Higgs removed his gloves and lovingly tossed them to the floor, the wet sound reminding him they'd be taking extra time to dry. 

"I'm your… distraction then, a distraction from what you've turned your life into, awaiting the end of the world was it? Well, I can't say I'm mad about it, guess I wanted it over as much as anyone else… but--" Then it hit him, a slight shift on the cot as he grabbed a looser piece of Sam's shirt, non-direct contact, but, Higgs felt like he hit gold,

"You regret your choice." 

The emptiness that came from the reply had Higgs grin. Sam didn't try and push his hand off him, only looked over, eyes empty. "I'm regretting a lot of choices right now." It was his turn to shake his head, leaning down to press his forehead against Higgs', "Coming here was a mistake." 

Higgs knew better than to add fuel to an already blazing fire, small as it was inside Sam, it was there. He wasn't going to provoke him. "It probably was… but, if you already regret it, what's one more mistake?" The pure seductive undertone in his voice, the way his hand moved from a bunched piece of fabric to Sam's waist… "Oh, Sam… you can make me your distraction." 

Sam flinched and exhaled shakily, there was nothing forcing Higgs to continue. One firm shove to keep him away would be enough. He'd stop, find another way to entertain himself… until Sam's voice made him shiver, he wasn't expecting any sort of answer. 

"Alright… what's one more mistake." Brief, muttered under his breath and within seconds Higgs was pushed down on his back, "just, try and keep your hands to yourself." 

Higgs stifled a laugh, 

"No promises." 

-

Higgs knew he was a mess judging by the sweat and how sore he felt. Between Sam relieving out his frustrations on him of what he only assumed was the second or third time that night… Higgs almost understood why he had called the two of them a mistake.

Sam finally finishing, Higgs laying against the cot chest rising and falling rapidly, Sam had him seeing stars. Only curses under his breath at the amount of force and bruises he was sure to have between his thighs and against his neck. 

Not that he would mind.

Sam pulled out with a grunt and moved off of him almost immediately. He wasn't expecting any sort of coddling or any fluff from Sam. This was just how it was supposed to be. An ache in his stomach, Higgs pushed himself up and adjusted his pants with a sigh. 

Sam was already stood up, half of his gear on and his back to Higgs as he pulled on and fixed his clothes by the time Higgs had the time to fully come to. 

Higgs wanted to speak, but, was it his place anymore? He and Sam weren't friends, from what he knew, what pieces he could place… They weren't. Each encounter with Sam was either both to their benefit or some sort of questioned experience that had Higgs wanting more, and that had Sam regretting every touch he let Higgs place on his skin. 

Every piece of gear on, Higgs cleared his throat as he looked at the other, Sam looked over, Higgs a mess, smudged makeup, half-dressed, covered in his regrets. Attention caught, Higgs only stood up, a silent curse and smirked, 

"Good enough, Sam?"

He wasn't expecting an answer if the answer was anything close to what he'd received, he was sure it wasn't right. Sam hummed to himself, soft, and headed for the already opened room door. Sam stalled. Hand finding the frame, and he looked towards the ground, guilt still ate at him. Higgs was already off to tap into a supply request, the encounter between them a secret they only knew, non-existent if neither spoke it being real. 

Sam, wanted it no other way, so, he stood there wondering why it ate at him… he wondered why the indifference towards the situation bothered him. The words that escaped his mouth didn't answer what comment Higgs had made, 

"Higgs." 

He blinked, called upon, what else was he supposed to do. Before he could respond Sam had himself already out the main room, 

"I'll see you around." 

The answer Higgs definitely wasn't expecting, not even an answer at that, a complete turn that had him timeout his request as he looked to the empty room. The echo of the heavy safehouse door and footsteps leading towards it. All enveloped in a shrill sound playing in his ears over and over, taking the form of a splattered black stain. 

All Higgs could hear was his name spoken softly against the cold air. 

Alone with his new repercussions to keep him company. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to see more feel free to leave a comment if you'd like a specific request feel free to hit me up on my twitter! https://twitter.com/nnoites 
> 
> Have a great day/night/evening/morning wherever you are and as always, Thanks for reading!
> 
> \- Gothie
> 
> (Song inspiration was I See You - Missio which is on the soundtrack, give it a listen!)


End file.
